Of Spies and Cards


Folks, all those who have said bad things about uBaba (aka Nxamalala or Msholozi) the Zondo led State Capture Commission of Inquiry are ‘spies’ that he has known about for a long time but preferred to keep quiet. Owing to his generosity of heart and faith in people to change over time he appointed some of these ‘spies’ to be cabinet ministers. Gracious man that he is!

And here you are not believing that uBaba is a born-again Christian! He was not made a priest/bishop by that church (name forgotten) for nothing. They saw in him a wonderful potential to forgive, something beyond the realms of ordinary mortals. Does not the Good Book instruct us to forgive those who trespass against us at least 70 X 7? If you were to do the counting you will discover that uBaba is on the right track and is doing well. No wonder the church in its wisdom contrived to make him a priest. The office of priest couldn’t have been handed to a deserving person!

Only a priest can watch people stealing state money and say nothing except to tell his supporters in a rally that he knows who the thieves are and have seen what they have been doing. Lesser mortals would have beaten a path to the nearest police station to rat on their colleagues. Poor souls. Not our beloved Nxamza. The dilly-dallying with regard to going to court on his myriad charges (about 700 of them) can be attributed to his good nature. Silly people like you have been saying he is buying time. What? That is absolutely preposterous! The man has tons of incriminating information that would sink a lot of people but has been restraining himself. 

He has been provoked and now he is ready to spill the beans. He cannot be held responsible for the pungent smell that results from this. Remember he still has a tell-all book that he is about to write where he will regale us with more juicy and salacious details about happenings in the inner sanctums of the party from which he has glibly told us he resigned. I know you pedantic lot want him to say he resigned from the presidency of the country, not the party. After all, why was he campaigning for a party that he has resigned from? He was confusing the enemy, you silly dunderheads!

Msholozi has known about rats in the ANC for donkey years as an intelligence chief. It was and still is his forte to identify them. From now on they will be scampering for cover as he names one by one. We are still on Monday going on to Friday and he shall serve us these dishes about spies, conspiracy plots, etc in sizable chunks. We can’t be too full or else we may throw up. We need to relax and let the Nkandla crooner sing like a canary. Let no one say that he is singing out of tune! The songs he has sung and is still going to sing may not be liked by all and sundry. Who cares? Have not others sung about him in the very same commission of inquiry? Chickens are now coming home to roost. He is not chickening out and the gloves are veritably off! Some among you are wondering why would uBaba be prosecuted when he is not even an outstanding theorist of the movement. That’s your mistake, folks. Who is the father of radical economic transformation? Who scrapped university entrance & tuition fees in a NASREC ANC elective conference nogal? Should not such moves be viewed as evidence of a brilliant guy? What else should the man do to prove to you incorrigible cynics that he is the brightest bulb in the chandelier?

You also complain that he has played the victim card ad nauseam. What, if I tell you that, that is about the only card that he has? The victim card, not a bad card to have under siege, is like his killer punch that he unleashes whenever he senses that he is in a tight corner. To be perceived as a ‘king of corrupt people’ is no trifling matter. To wriggle yourself out of that asphyxiating corner just whip out the card and voila you are free and can breathe easily. 

Lolonga Tali